It’s February and Valentine’s Day advertisement is everywhere. People are seeking dates, thinking of gift ideas and in love with…love.
V-day, along with most holidays, is so commercialized these days. It’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Regardless, February is a month that reminds us to celebrate love. Let’s add self-love to the equation boo. I wrote about why Self-Love Matters earlier this month.
I talk to women every week who crave love. They want to find that man they can netflix and chill with. That all in one, ride or die type of…
You get it.
But they don’t get him. Instead, they get disappointment and more loneliness. The problem is we are more in love with the idea of love than ourselves. When we learn to improve at self-love, we release the false expectations we want men to satisfy.
Here is how you can improve at self-love in 60 seconds.
Step 1: Get in front of a mirror.
Place your right hand over your heart. Take three deep breaths and lock eyes with yourself. Make sure you are uninterrupted. Looking in the mirror is important because how you see yourself is how you see the world. If you are unable to look into your eyes and confront your heart, how can you go out there and conquer the world? It starts with you.
Step 2: Tell yourself “I love you”.
Feel awkward? Yea. Takes a while but let those words settle. Continue looking at yourself. This action acknowledges your existence. You are nonverbally saying- “I am here and alive”. Maybe you don’t love yourself. Maybe you don’t believe yourself when you say “I love you.” But say it anyhow. The more we hear it, the more it’s solidified in our brain, and the more we believe it. Words are powerful and can build you up or tear you down.
Step 3: Notice your body and thoughts.
This step is the most important. Listen to the voices in your head as they try to fight the statement of love. These voices may sound like:
“No, you don’t. You’re ugly.”
“But you’re fat, how can you love yourself.”
“I’m still not good enough.”
It’s not about learning self-love, but about identifying the barriers you built against it.(TWEET IT)
Honestly, doing this for one day won’t fix your life. Try these steps for at least three weeks and see how you feel. Like all things, daily disciplines make the difference. You can improve at self-love by just acknowledging your existence and becoming aware of the
barriers that block you from receiving self-love.
It starts with baby steps. We can create the loving life we crave, one kind word, one day at a time.
Now it’s your turn? When you tell yourself, “I love you”, what thoughts come to mind? (No shame here. You are not your thoughts).